The Land where Fun is Forbidden
A Tale about the Insane Hoops you now need to jump through if you want to throw a party in Canada
Hey Folks,
Recently my brother told me a tale about the hoops that he had to jump through in order to throw an event in Ottawa, my hometown.
I asked him to write down his account because it illustrates a problem in Canada that not enough people are talking about - the fact that there are many hurdles to people who wish to throw parties. Indeed, events in Ottawa now apparently need to be sanctioned by a city councillor in order to be eligible for a liquor license. How insane is that?
As someone who has organized a lot of punk shows over the years, I feel that people often don’t realize that a lot of cool shit happens because someone chooses to make it happen because they want it happen… not because they’re making money. Often, event organizers will lose money when they’re putting on concerts. Local music scenes aren’t driven by greed. They thrive on passion, and shows happen because some people take it upon themselves to make them happen.
The current problem in Canada is that costs for hosting events keep going up… meaning that promoters can break even less often. Therefore, there are less shows. Not rocket science.
The solution is simple: huge illegal parties as a form of protest. But that won’t occur until enough people acknowledge that there’s a problem.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy these reflections about living in Canada in 2024. Please feel free to share stories you have that make help explain where there are less cool parties in Canada then there used to be.
Love & Solidarity,
Crow Qu’appelle
The Tale of the Outsider’s Ball
by Frank Bueckert
This story starts in 2022, in the repressive deep dark period of covid lockdown in Ottawa. Nothing was happening. Bars had been shuddered and event spaces of all kinds were forbidden from hosting events. What were young people supposed to do on a Saturday night? Where were musicians supposed to perform, to practice their craft?
Our answer to that was to organize an underground concert in the parking lot of our coffee roastery. We didn’t really have any experience with organizing events, but the chef at our cafe is in a band and we had some connections with the local music scene. We worked really hard to promote the event, putting up posters all over town and doing interviews on university radio.
We had one goal: to bring people together to enjoy live music in a time where social isolation was the norm. Finally the big day came and we worked all day decorating the space and setting up the stage. We had a little booth where we were selling chicken drumsticks, sausages, beer and cotton candy. We even had a magician!
The people came out in droves, the bands performed, and everyone had a great time! There was a magical feeling in the air, and we felt proud knowing we were capable of making the magic happen. It was truly a community building event, bringing together local hipsters with the working-joe’s who just happened to live near-by. Eventually the police did come and shut it down - but they were even courteous enough to wait until after the last band had finished.
A DREAM IS BORN!
That night a dream was born - that we would host an annual event for the people who didn’t fit into the increasingly dystopian society that we are all living in - the outsiders. We would call our annual event ‘The Outsider’s Ball” - a place where all those who don’t belong could come together.
When the next year rolled around we figured we would do things a little more ‘legit’ this time. We found a suitable venue with a stage and a sound system that could accommodate a few hundred people. Almost immediately we started realizing that there are massive challenges and road-blocks when it comes to hosting a “legitimate” event as opposed to an underground DIY event.
First and foremost there were the upfront capital costs. We had to rent the venue - which cost $600. Fair enough, we don’t expect things to be free. However, in order to rent the venue we needed to get liability insurance. Well, turns out that’s another almost $300! Alright, we can handle that. What else do we need? Because it’s an official event we had to get a liquor license, another $250.
Here’s where the story gets more interesting. After submitting the liquor license, we received word back that in order to be approved for a liquor license we would need a letter from a municipal councillor saying that our event was of ‘cultural significance.’ Excuse me?
Yes, we would need an elected official to deem our event culturally relevant in order to have the privilege to sell alcoholic beverages. That seems pretty ridiculous to me, why should there be a tzar of culture who gets to be the one who decides what is culturally significant and what isn’t? Also, I firmly believe that our event is culturally significant! We are showcasing local musicians, to a local audience - what could be more cultural?!
I even called the municipal councillor to see if they would write us a letter, but they gave me the cold shoulder. In the end, we proceeded with the event without the liquor license and just sold the booze illegally. What else were we going to do? There’s no other way to make enough money to cover the costs of the venue, the bands and the insurance without selling some adult beverages.
That was a massive risk that we took though, because if they had come and inspected the event we could have gotten a hefty fine. Thankfully - that didn’t happen and the event was a total success.
The bands came and rocked, the people danced and were merry. After all was said and done, we broke even. No one who helped organize the event made one single dollar from their efforts. And that's OK.
What it did show me though, is that this is the reason that more cool shit doesn’t happen in this country. Simply put, there’s too many rules.
DIY all the way