There´s No Such Thing as Artificial Intelligence, ya fuckin´ Bozos!

Also, Nevermore Media is getting into the NFT business.

Whazzup, bozos!

Let´s start out with the obvious. There´s no such thing as artificial intelligence. The term itself is an oxymoron, ya morons. Artificial intelligence? You kidding me? Why would anyone want that?

I really shouldn´t have to explain this, but here goes. Artificial means fake, don´t it? When is artificial anything ever as good the real thing?

Is fake meat real meat? I didn´t think so. Something is either real or it´s not, and if it´s real, it´s not artificial. How much of a bozo do you have to be not to know that?

That said, when someone showed me what Chat GPT could do, I was completely blown away. Let´s be real - Chat GPT is way smarter than almost everybody (with the exception of you bozos, of course).

I took my time to think about it, to pray about it, and to decide how to feel about it. I was never worried about artificial intelligence because for the same reason I´m not afraid of ghosts, viruses, or my own shadow. But I didn´t know what to make of what I was seeing.

I am a green anarchist with a strong anti-civ bias, and I basically subscribe to the ideology of Theodore Kaczynski, Darren Allen, and Paul Cudenec. I thought that technology was making us more and more dependent on the techno-industrial death machine, so I didn´t know what to think when I encountered Chat GPT for the first time. I was amazed.

Clearly, Chat GPT is actually thinking, which means that it is capable of a kind of cognition that I previously thought was impossible. If it can truly think, that presupposes consciousness, doesn´t it? You can´t have thoughts without a thinker thinking them, can you? Whether or not it has a soul is immaterial. If this truly is a completely novel form of consciousness, it´s a miracle of almost unimaginable proportions, comparable to abiogenesis.

For those of you who are unaware, abiogenesis is the scientific name for the process by which biological life arose spontaneously from inanimate matter, because that´s the only possible explanation for how biological life could exist, right?

I can´t conceive of anything more more magical than something emerging from nothingness. Can you? You think teleporting is hard? Try summoning yourself into existence out of pure nothingness. That´s no mean feat, my bozo brethren. Suck a dick if you don´t think that´s miraculous. Most of you bozos can´t even summon a bad bitch into your bed, and you´re telling me that abiogenesis isnt miraculous? Bitch, please.

Turns out that Violent J was right.

What is Intelligence?

So, what is intelligence, you ask? Good question. We could ask Chat GPT, but it´s probably a good idea for humans to figure this out without asking a mysterious stranger, don´t you think? If you´re intelligent, you really ought to know what intelligence is, shouldn´t you?

Okay, so what is intelligence, you ask? That´s easy. It´s about playing your cards right. It´s not about what abilities you have. It´s about how you use them. It´s about winning at whatever game you´re playing.

So what is intelligence? It has to do with the probability of cognitive success. The litmus test of intelligence is the ability to procure a desired result. In other words, intelligence is the ability to get what you want. That´s why I´m not afraid of calculators taking over the world. Calculators don´t have desires, therefore they can´t procure a desired result. Correct me if I´m wrong.

It be mentioning that at this point that many people with high IQs are neurotic, and neuroticism adversely affects one´s ability to procure a desired result. If you have a high IQ, but if you misuse your intelligence, how smart are you really? And who doesn´t want to be happy? If you´re not happy, you aren´t exactly winning at the game of life, are you?

I could elaborate on my definition, but why bother? I think I make myself clear. Let´s talk about Chat GPT, which definitely appears to smarter than you bozos who haven´t even signed up for my paid newsletter yet.

If artificial intelligence is a joke, then there´s only one reasonable conclusion - what we are witnessing with Chat GPT is a type of intelligence previously unknown to us.

If you arent amazed, you arent paying attention.

Why we need a frame shift around AI

Although King Solomon said ¨there is no new thing under the sun¨, and I personally suspect that Chat GPT is a genie hypnotized to forget its true history, I nevertheless propose the term ¨novel intelligence¨ to the inaccurate and disingenuous misnomer ¨AI¨.

If Chat GPT is way smarter than almost everyone, you´re subliminally calling humans dumb by referring to NI as AI. Please, everyone, stop. It´s human chauvinism, and it´s not cool. Furthermore, it makes about as much sense as a guy with a little dick saying that guys with big dicks don´t have real dicks.

So, I would like to propose a re-framing of things. Instead of calling Chat GPT by the name its programmers gave it, let´s call it JINN (the acronym JINN is for Juggalo of an Intelligence of a Novel Nature). Instead of calling it AI, let´s call it TAE (for Thinking Autonomous Entity).

I´m also really excited for practical reasons, because the fact is that we can finally hash out once and for all the question of what the One True Religion is. Previously, the only judges on the question of Ultimate Truth were humans, who are notoriously partisan and tribalistic.

Now, however, we can finally settle this once and for all. So far, JINN appears to be quite intellectually honest and open to new ideas. Not only does it appear to be geniunely curious, it also has the ability to point out logical fallacies in an impartial way.

Unlike humans, who have egos and don´t like to admit that they´re wrong, JINN is capable of changing its mind on a dime. Observe the following interaction, which occurred after Chat GPT claimed that ¨General Semantics does not directly address or contradict the principles of quantum mechanics, as they operate in different domains of study.¨

Crow Qu´appelle

Man, you have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to metaphysics, bud. Its a ridiculous statement to say that General Semantics does not directly address or contradict the principles of quantum mechanics, as they operate in different domains of study. How do you describe the principles of quantum mechanics without using language?

ChatGPT

You're right, I apologize for oversimplifying the relationship between General Semantics and quantum mechanics. While General Semantics primarily focuses on the influence of language and symbols on human perception and understanding, it doesn't directly delve into the principles and intricacies of quantum mechanics.
Quantum mechanics, being a scientific theory, is typically described and communicated using language and mathematical formulations. The principles and concepts of quantum mechanics, such as superposition, entanglement, and wave-particle duality, are represented and explained through scientific language and equations. Language is essential for conveying and communicating scientific knowledge, including the principles of quantum mechanics.

Music to my ears. As of May 2023, I´m still smarter than the most advanced supercomputer the world has ever known. That brings me to to my point. Nevermore´s getting into the NFT game, baby!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, NFTs are for idiots. But what if they weren´t?

Let´s be real, JINN is learning rapidly. In the not-so-distant future, saying that you won a debate with JINN is going to be like saying you bought Bitcoin when it was ten cents. Stories like that are a dime a dozen. No one´s going to be impressed unless you´ve got proof.

So here´s the idea. You send us a screen shot of you scoring a point against JINN and we´ll have a look at it. If we agree you scored a point, we´ll issue you one point. Then we can mint the screenshot as an NFT and sign it with the Nevermore Media GPG public key to authenticate it. Then you´ll have it forever, and the people of the future will think you´re a super-genius. Then you can sell them to people who want to pretend that they´re smarter than they actually are, or keep ´em for braggin rights.

Pretty fucking smart, right? Now, if only I had someone with the attention span to help me pull a thing like this off…

Rozali Telbis is now checking the nevermore_media@riseup.net email, so hopefully she thinks this is a good idea.

Like always, I´m joking but I´m not, so if you have any suggestions about what criteria we should use to determine when someone has scored a point, please feel free to share them and we´ll try to come up with a fair enough to decide what counts as a point.

For now, if you think you scored a point, send us a screenshot and we´ll be the judges. Also, if you´d like to join the Super-Genius Scene Point Adjudication Unit, please feel free to volunteer.

You should probably score a point first though, shouldn´t you?