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Looking for photos of my Oma in my email I found this letter from her, dated April 2009:

Dear Anton,

I’m not sure how to fill your need of family history. I lead a very calm life as a

child. I was much younger than my brothers and sister. I was probably a

“good” child, not too rebellious. School was something you did. Perhaps my

generation was geared to behaving. There were classroom clowns but

discipline was strict. I was a good student, but never top of my class. It didn’t

bother me - maybe because the love of my family did not pressure me to do

more. You did your best.

My chief social activity was Girl Scouts which I joined as a Brownie and

continued right through high school - my group was one of the first seniors in

the city. There were about ten of us and had a young adult leader. We did

many things including having a city wide dance for 2 years -that we

organized and ran ourselves at a central hall inviting all other senior Guides

and their dates.

My father died when I was 13 and life was quieter. My sister Harriette (11

years older) was married that summer, my brother Dick (9 years older)

married and had a child that same year. He had graduated from Amherst

college in 1932 - not a single classmate had a job. It was the depth of the

Great Depression. My brother Al (6 years older) was at Dartmouth College

and my mother finished his education including Medical School as well as my

education at Mount Holyoke College - all on her pension from my father’s

company, plus wise investment in IBM.

I never remember any disagreements in the home.

{Break - Eva just came in for a visit and to take my dark washing. She’ll bring

it back tomorrow when she, Anna and Cristina come for lunch.}

Tuesday

Lost that train of thoughtMy high school was a mixed academic and commercial one. I had little choice

because I was heading Mt. Holyoke admission and needed languages which

were not my forté. I’m not athletic nor particularly musical but did enjoy

social sciences and science.

There was an international club between my school and one in Toronto called

“Trans-lake Study club”. We tried to learn about similar social affairs and the

different approach in each country. Several times a year we had exchanges. I

met your grandfather on one of these. And we were compatible. I invited him

to come to a dance at Mt. Holyoke when he was studying a Columbia in New

York City - you know the history of that romance.

During the fall of 1941 the U.S. Navy approached philosophy students and

some math students if they were interested in cryptology and would take a

course the last term (for credit) leading to a job in the Navy after graduation.

I accepted and liked the program and was good at it. We were hired as civil

servants, (worked as such for 4 months) and as soon as the bill creating the

WAVES - Women accepted for Volunteer Service - was commissioned doing

the same work. My job was to study transmission to and from submarines to

think about their content and then try to link common German text to these.

If you’re interested in the Enigma machine I have an excellent book on its

history.

I had no contact with the machines which were the forerunners of modern

computers and were huge. My work was programming - we converted letters

to numbers and checked the hits from the machines to see if we had full text.

There was a number of false hits but enough for a successful weakening of

the submarine war.

Don and I were married in 1943 on his embark leave. We’d written each other

daily for over five years and knew we were right for each other. Some thought

the marriage unwise but he was able to send a large share of his pay to me

plus marriage allowance - all of which went into the bank so we had savings

after the war.

Your grandfather’s memories cover the years back at McGill. We lived in

students quarters outside Montreal (an old army barrack converted).

1946-47 we were in England. Don had won a scholarship for a year at London

School of Economics. Before we returned to Canada we travelled in Europe

for 4 months. Then settled down -

Life was good to me. The girls were relatively easy to raise. Your mother was

more headstrong and wanted to go into nursing. We agreed because we

thought they wouldn’t accept her at 17, but they did. Nursing has been good

to her and given her many interesting events.

I could ramble on, but I’m not sure what you want. Let me know and I’ll try to

help.

Love

Oma

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Aug 11Liked by NEVERMORE MEDIA

“I’m not sure how to fill your need of family history”…..🙏

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And to give you an email of how much of a non-sports fan she was, she lived more than 50 years in Toronto and I couldn't even tell you if she was a Leafs fan! That's how little she cared about sports.

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That's my Oma for you. People were different back then. Imagine describing falling in love in so few words - "We were compatible." Or saying that raising 3 girls was "relatively easy". Relative to what? Exactly.

Not one to gush or be over-emotional... But you knew she loved you. It was an "actions speak louder than words" kind of love.

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btw I've noticed people like it when I write about my family... in fact Margaret Anna Alice has encouraged me to write about my family, someone she once brought whilst admonishing me for my rage-baiting antics... so like this comment if you'd like to write about my family more.

I definitely think my family is interesting... but I'm biased.

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That was beautiful, Crow 😭💔😭 Thank you so much for that gift and especially for this wisdom from your dear Oma’s spirit:

“Look at that bag of skin and bones. That’s not me. I’m going to leave it behind now, and you don’t have to be sad at all. I’m glad to go. I love you, and I’ll see you on the other side.”

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When the person who cared about Margaret more than any other passes and can’t be accessed, to have care come from hidden places like this writing is a gift.

To get a sense we are loved in the face of loss is a gift.

Thanks for offering your thoughts. I hope for joy in Margaret and in us all.

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